The beauty of a newborn

I never thought I would say this, but there is indeed something beautiful and special  about holding a newborn.

I don't recall much from the days after the birth of Ian - although I do remember the anxiety of having to deal with his huge drop in birth weight, recovery from c-section and, in general, how to survive with an infant without killing each other. I also remembered distinctly calling Wouter every evening at six to ask if he was on his way home, and once to scream at him to buy a pacifier because his precious son did not want to stop wailing at the bewitching hour. So in short, not the most pleasant time of motherhood.

But with Mia, it's different. Granted it has only been less than two weeks, and my mom has been around since day two to help, and I have yet to be left alone with the baby for more than two hours, I feel a sense of serenity as I hold her in my arms, cuddle her and and give her endless kisses.

I pin the difference in feeling on the fact that I am now used to having a toddler's love. Because the cuddles and kisses are so different from the kisses and hugs I share with toddler Ian (who by the way, is an extremely affectionate child and especially enjoys kissing me on my lips multiple times to wake me up), I have learned how to appreciate my time with Mia.

With Ian -- the kisses and hugs though multiple, are brief -- before he goes off exploring his world. But with Mia, I can hold her as often and as long as I want and she is, unfortunately, unable to offer much resistance besides crying.

And just based on experience, this won't last for too long. For in the twinkle of an eye, she will develop a mind of her own and exert her own independence. And when that time comes, I will look back fondly on the short but calming nights as I held my precious baby girl in my arm -- you and me against the table lamp in our bedroom where time seems to stands still and we belong to each other only.